Pineapple spokesperson Tom Chef recently announced the new iDiot technology for the flagship LackBook Pro.

“We are proud to announce that our iDiot technology is now ready for the LackBook Pro. It is available for free along with all purchased copies of the iDiot installer. Oh, are we excited for it to be used by the customers! It is simple awesome! It will keep your precious overpriced devices’ data fully secure from being lost or stolen by being permanently stored on ours and our trusted (advertising) partners’ servers! It will also keep you safe from any legal issues by continually scanning all your files for any potentially illegal material and securely destroying it (after sharing it with our trusted (advertising) partners)!

“As I said, the iDiot technology is FREE for all users of the iDiot installer! Yes, we heard your feedback on having the batteries and chargers being sold separately from the LackBook.

“We are also releasing a new UNIVERSAL wireless camera. No longer do you have to lug around a camera with your phone wherever you go! You can also get our universal adapter for it to work with stuff other than LackBooks and DiePhones.

“We also addressed complaints about the LackOS’s… umm… lack of customisability. So now, you can buy our customizer to change the color AND size of the LackOS dock. Because, at Pineapple, we care about your freedoms.

“And, last but not least, we have reduced the price for ALL our products by 50 dollars! All you need is to buy a discount coupon for $200.”